Sunday, August 22, 2010

An open letter to Bicycling Magazine

Dear Bicycling:

Your magazine is...a standard cycling magazine. Every issue has an article on techniques for riding (currently cyclocross, which I'm obsessed with right now), clothing reviews, component reviews, bike reviews, fitness information, and of course, the smattering of feature articles. You even have occasional human interest stories, about guys who hang themselves after getting busted for trafficking pot.

But really, the one thing that you have that no other magazine has are your chef profiles. (Note that I don't know if other magazines have this or not, I really don't pay attention unless things go wrong...) Typically, you have some interesting and even tasty recipes. However, things occasionally go horribly, HORRIBLY wrong.

Your most recent issue had a profile of a scruffy, bearded vegan chef, cooking somewhere in Oregon or something. He rides a lot, talks about losing his desire to work with meat, and about the joys of veganism. He then goes on to share his "awesome" gnocchi recipe with the world. He explains the process of making his little cooked potato turdlets, and expounds on how wonderful they really are.

Let me tell you. They tasted like SHIT! Absolutely tasteless, and a huge letdown from something you'd find in an excellent Italian restaurant. I would have done better to drop floured deer turds into boiling water and see what I came up with.

So, Bicycling Magazine..
TRY these recipes before you print them. And I don't mean in the wonder-boy's restaurant, but in your own kitchen. Pretty sure you won't get the same result, and you might save someone a bit of trouble.



Oh, and while I'm at it, Mother Nature, stop with the damn rain. I can't train in this crap.

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