And now for these commercial messages...

Five days. No, not five days until the Scripture written, Weekly World News reported end of the world as we know it and predicted by Nostradumbass (although there may be some kind of cosmic implosion of sorts.) No, it's five days to the Tour Down Under and the professional return of The Mighty Uniballer, Lance Armstrong. How will it go? How will he do? Will he have his old form back so quickly? Will he conceive yet another child after making sweet, sweet mattress music with his black (or yellow, I think yellow is currently leading) brake hoods? The world is waiting with baited breath to see the final results, both of the genetics test for his girlfriend and his placing in the TdU.

Really though. Love him or hate him, he's back and he's racing for a message. Now don't take this post the wrong way; I love Lance. He was (still is?) the greatest cyclist of his time, possibly of all time. But the cries ring out "He's a doper! Throw him out!" He still beat everyone in the field, and everyone was, at that time, on even terms, and he did it SEVEN times. Oh, and he did beat cancer before that. If there's any blemishes on his reputation, I'd venture to guess that it would be his weakness for ditzy blondes and Matthew XcConaughey. Personally, I prefer the blondes myself, but hey, that's his business.

What I'm really sick of is the utter media circus surrounding this race and this guy. I mean, leave the guy alone for a day, let him visit with family, whatever. But Lance wanted some publicity and he got it. He didn't (or maybe he did and I'm the dope here) bank on the media turning his life upside down with this news of a return. Really, leave the guy alone. There are other people in this race, let's hear something about them as well. We love all of cycling. Lance is just a part of the whole package.

C'est la vie say the old folks, it goes to show you never can tell. (Bonus points to who can tell me the artist and song. No google. I'm watching you like ceiling cat.)

Oh, and as I said earlier, yellow seems to be the winner. From Twitter:
"560 VOTES: 262 BLACK (47%) / 298 YELLOW (53%) Many B votes want Y tape. Twitterati hath spoken: GO YELLOW."